So you broke up with your boyfriend a while ago now and thought that you would never feel the way you felt about a boy again…. Until you meet Mr.New and fall in love all over again. Love is simply too emotional to be preplanned. When you do fall in love the second, third or fourth time around, well, you’ve tried it before and I’m sure you had fun before, but this time around be assured that it’s going to be better because it gives you a new chance to begin again on a new basis with greater wisdom and experience. For each of us, love is different each time; it is a magical interplay of hormones, senses and emotion that gives you a high intensity of euphoria – a sense of well-being and just feeling good from within!

But however magical that feeling is at the beginning, the newness and excitement will eventually wear off and you begin to notice things about your new found love that don’t live up to your super fairytale high expectations and that’s where some problems can arise. Disappointment and the breakdown of a relationship can actually stem from believing in those fairy stories about one day finding your prince charming, the perfect match for you, where you will never argue, never disagree and everything will be perfect…... The truth is there is no perfect person out there, but that is not a bad thing! If everything was uber perfect in your relationship, your life would be so boring!! Every one has flaws and faults, including you!

Your boyfriend cannot fulfil all your needs and expectations and it’s not a fair burden to expect him to carry. However, as you become more assertive and self sufficient, and learn from your past relationships, you will become less and less dependant. He doesn’t have to fulfil all your needs because you can fulfil some of them yourself.
In my opinion, the definition of love is “giving and sharing”. But there are plenty of people in love who play destructive and manipulative roles, but that is not helpful to either partner and will eventually lead to the end of a relationship.

The best love is total acceptance of another person. Acceptance of their weaknesses, acceptance of their mistakes, together with the goodness of their strengths, acceptance and being accepted means that you are free to be yourself in the relationship. You don’t have to play a role or feel you have to change yourself or your partner into something different. In love you get to be your best in every broad sense – emotionally and physically, in every way. Love and being in a relationship is about taking the good with the bad, the ups with the down and being there to support and enrich one another’s lives without asking anything in return.

Learn from your previous relationships and bring the knowledge from your past, when you fall in love again.

Katie-Jane xx