We all have boundaries - both Physical and Mind Boundaries that we do not like other people to cross... (Unless... they are invited of course).

Let's start by defining your Physical Boundary. Just because you can't see it - doesn't mean it's not there. For example; have you ever been talking to someone and you begin to feel uneasy... claustrophobic perhaps.... Maybe you feel like they have come into your personal space?  That you need to take a step backwards in order to feel at ease again? That's because whoever you were talking to... crossed into your Physical Boundary and your subconscious mind didn't like it.

So now - let's do a quick visualisation to help you suss out where you physical boundary lies and how to prevent yourself from feeling uneasy in social situations. Close your eyes and think about where your boundary is - see it in your mind as an imaginary line or barrier around yourself. Now open your eyes and use your hand to define to yourself where exactly that imaginary line/boundary is for you. Have you done that?! Ok good.... Now with your eyes open you should be able to point to where your Physical Boundary is. In doing this little exercise - you now know in your conscious mind where your boundary is - which is a very important thing to know - because next time someone steps over your boundary line - and you begin to feel uncomfortable - you will be aware of exactly why you feel that way - you can then simply take a step backwards to regain your boundary lines... and carry on as normal... feeling good.

Ok - so now let's talk about your Mind Boundaries. Mind Boundaries are the standards you set for yourself, in regards to how other people treat you. For example; people should treat you with honour, love, respect and kindness (to name a few). You are the only one who can decide what your Mind Boundaries are, and what you will put up with and what you won't. What way you will allow people to treat you and what you will not allow.

For example some Mind Boundaries could sound like this:

• - I will not allow anyone to belittle me.
• - I want to be treated with respect.
• - I will not accept people making me feel insecure.

Once you have decided what your Mind Boundaries are - and what you will and will not stand for in your life... then you can begin living by them... which in turn will get other people to live by them... which will lead to a better, happier and more content way of living.

You see, once you have set your mind boundary and decided for yourself - what is acceptable in regards to how people treat you - and what is not.... Then you will begin to gain confidence in the knowledge that you are in control of how you feel and also how other people make you feel. If you just decide and don't allow people to make you feel a certain way - then they will not be able to affect you. I'm sure you've heard me mention the saying "You must love yourself before anyone else can love you" - the same goes for all the other life values that you will put into your Mind Boundary... "You have to respect yourself, be kind to yourself, and honour yourself - before anyone else can." Once you feel all these ways about yourself - you will find it easier to set your Mind Boundary of what is acceptable treatment in your life - and you will stick to it and live for it.

The really great thing about your Mind Boundary - is that once you have decided what is included in it - and begin living within your Boundary lines.... then your confidence levels will sky rocket... this is because you won't be worried about what other people think or say to you that might have affected you in the past. Because now - you just won't accept it anymore. You have decided that you will not allow whatever people say or do to affect you. It's your decision how you feel... how cool is that!!?!?!! So if sometime - someone says something or does something that you perceive as crossing your Mind Boundary... then you will either say to yourself - or out loud to them... "I will not accept being treated or spoken to that way - end of story."

So my point is - define your Physical and Mind Boundaries today. Live by them in respect for yourself... be in control, notice how your confidence grows, be assertive with others and do not allow others to treat you in a way you do not feel comfortable with.... and you know what - others will respect you more for standing up for yourself and your feelings!

Love,

Katie-Jane

P.S. Just in case you are interested... my physical boundary is about the distance from my shoulder to my wrist away from my body... interesting huh?!?! Email me This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and let me know how far your personal boundary is away from your body?!