If you've been together for a while - I'm sure you know they like you... perhaps the relationship is easy for them... and for you... you get on very well together... but deep down inside, if you really stop to think about it... and ask yourself one of the hardest questions in the love department "Do they really love me?" and if your gut feeling...says "I'm not quite sure!" then that should be your warning signal to get your nikes on your bikeies and start peddling!!

The fact of the matter is - if you know they sadly are not in love with you (as hard as that is to admit) they will one day, eventually build up the courage to tell you and end the relationship. That could be tomorrow... or it could be in 7 years time... who knows... but if they don't love you... it's probably going to happen sooner or later. When it does, you try to convince them that they are wrong - that you are meant for each other... that whatever it is about you that they don't "love" you will change.... You see, your love for them is so overwhelming that you just can't comprehend that it's just not right - that you deserve better... but for now - your blinkers are on and you are going to do anything to get them to stay with you... or take you back. Love is a very confusing emotion.

Let's say they do take you back - (they don't have the bottle to do what's right for you either... which is in fact to break up and let you find someone who will love you for you)... it will never work. Well not in the happy love story sense anyway. You can do whatever you think will get them to stay with you... and love you.... and still they will not be madly in love with you. They just can't. It's not their fault though... that's just the way they were made. They can try and convince themselves they will... and it will all be Rosie... but it just won't be - no matter what. And while all that's going on... your confidence levels will be going down and down, making you feel low and unworthy. Love is not something you can decide to feel. It's a built in emotion - and you either feel it for a person or you don't.

I see this in my clinic all the time. Where it might have taken years for a couple to realise that it was just never going to last - and when it finally does come to an end - and they have grieved for their partner (because grieving does not necessarily have to be about death - it's about loss - and when couples break up - it is a form of loss) They will find love again... and this time it will be with someone who loves them back.... And the funny thing is - that if you were to ask someone who has been through this (including me by the way!!)... and they are in a new and happier loved up relationship how they feel now... they will usually say they are so happy their last relationship ended - because if it hadn't they wouldn't be with the person they are with now and be in a even love keel relationship.

So basically what I'm trying to say here... is that if you're in a relationship - and you know in your heart that they don't really love you - in the true sense of the word - then that relationship will never be all that you want it to be. You deserve someone who will love you for you - without having to change, or jump as high as they want you to. You are worthy of being loved.... And you have to respect yourself enough to allow that to happen.... Even if that means breaking up with your current beau because you just know it's not right. Sure you'll feel sad and shed a tear or two... but in the long run, when you are settled and have found the real love of your life... who reciprocates your love... you will look back at your past relationship, having no regrets and having learned from it and then say to yourself... "Thank God I'm not still with them!"

You are worthy... now all you have to do is believe it!

Love,

Katie-Jane xx