No matter who you are... you have a past. Whether it's young loves dream when your 14 or it's your broken long term relationship that took you a year to come to terms with... whatever it is... it will have an impact on your life. Either positively or negatively... and you have to be the one to decide which it's going to be and how it will affect your next relationship.

As human beings we are conditioned or programmed to believe that what happens in the future - will usually happen in the same way it did in the past. What do I mean by this? Well - if you have always hated the taste of turnips in the past - then you'll probably hate them the next time you taste them. If you can salsa dance today - you'll be able to salsa dance tomorrow. If you looked good wearing that little black number last week - you know you'll look good in it the next time you wear it.

But a common negative subconscious thought, that so many people have - that naturally follows the same principles as those last examples is... If your ex treated you badly in your last relationship or cheated on you - then your new partner will do the same. Easy mistake to make - because the mind likes to follow common thought patterns - but it's a BIG MISTAKE to make, as you cannot apply that to people. Everyone is different and should be given the benefit of the doubt as they have their own mind, their own beliefs and their own morals!

You see, all those first examples are about you - your thoughts, your habits, your decisions - where as your next partner will be new. They will have different thoughts and beliefs to your ex and there is no reason to believe or think that they will treat you the same way as someone else did. Each new relationship in your life should be seen as a new clean working block - ready for both you and your new partner to build on together.

Sure our past will affect how we feel - but you must learn to be able to see it as just that - your past. You can indeed learn from your past - and what it taught you. If your past partner treated you badly - and you stayed with them and took it - then you will have learned not to allow that to happen again. If you previous partner cheated on you - then they may cheat on their next partner too - but that's got nothing to do with you anymore - or your new partner. Relationships are all about trust, so in your new relationship see it as a fresh start.

Lets flip the coin here for a second - how would you like it if your new lover thought about you in the same negative ways they thought about their ex. Or if they didn't trust you when you went out with your friends, all because their ex wasn't trustworthy.... nothing to do with you! It's not that nice is it?? Nope - it's just not nice to have assumptions made about you that have nothing to do with you and are stemming from your new partners old relationship with a person that you don't even know - and most likely is nothing like you!

So basically what I'm getting at here is that you could cause all kinds of issues in your new relationship if you base it on your past experiences. Don't paint your new lover with the same brush as your last. This is a new relationship, a different person, and a chance to have a clean fresh relationship that is nothing like the last one that didn't work out!!

So think clean - think new - and remember that your past does not equal your tomorrow!

Love,

Katie-Jane xx